You never left, you’ve always been here.
In the shape of a flame, flickering away, in a place that is close to my heart.
The sky has always held us both, together in its embrace.
It already knows who we are, it knows the song of my heart, the song that we dance to when we are laying down with our hearts beating close together.
But still I can’t reach you. I feel parts of you, but not all of you.
I want to know, if I should still hold your sweet gaze, for just a little while longer.
I lost my soul, in between the broken pieces of the past.
I got caught up in the drama of other people’s conflicts.
Then I found my fire again.
I learnt how to let it cradle me, hold me.
I learnt that I deserved so much more, that I was good enough, that I mattered.
I could and see the light trying to touch me, to show me that it was there, and that it never left.
I held onto it, as much as I could.
I had fought so much before, but life wanted me to fight even more. So I did, I fought as hard as I could.
Life needed me to realise that I already was the fire.
I become lost in the shadows, even for just moments.
The sky doesn’t feel familiar, and all I want to do, is to escape to any place but here.
But the day rises again.
All that was lost becomes found, all over again.
The sky comes back to me.
It wakes me up inside , sweetly whispering, to me with its wild breathe.
All you got to do is breathe.
Breathe in all the oxygen.
It’s not that hard.
Life is waiting for you, it needs you to stay open, to let its magic reach inside of you.
We are here for so much more than this.
Don’t let life down, don’t let yourself down.
You have come so far, but to just show up here is not enough.
Remanants of those moments, still cling on to me sometimes.
Holding on, in my dreams.
It makes me think of the emptiness, all over again.
The way love just stripped itself bare, right infront of me.
Leaving me with just my shadow.
I was forced to reach inside, inside the emptiness.
It was all taken away from me, my life suspended in time.
Now I have learnt how to fight my battles. I have learnt how to use my sword. I learnt that all I had to do was raise my sword high in the sky, and call out surrender.
I can’t control it. I don’t even know what it really is.
All I know, is that I have to wake up each new day, and live it.
Live it and love it so much that it hurts.
Whatever life brings to me, whatever I choose to bring to the table.
Even when everything aches, I still show up.
Your soul can’t be absent here, it doesn’t work like that.
You can’t classify yourself dead, when you’re still alive.
Sometimes I don’t feel like I am part of it, like inside of it.
But that feeling doesn’t last.
It stops and it changes and turns into something more beautiful.
It’s like life, hears me cry.
It feels my heart beat when it’s a little different.
Whatever falls, always gets caught by life. Then it becomes, set free allover again.
You grew on me, like fire.
Even your shadow lights me up.
You have become like this precious diamond, that I jut need to uncover, layer by layer.
Your fingers trickling down my back.
I kind of knew then, that you’re still there.