I was still holding on.
I wanted that impossible dream, to be saved. To be somewhat cleansed and renewed. Kind of like, back to the start, back to the magic.
I yearn for this fire, that is so inside of me, it even surrounds me.
But I’m still learning how.
How to walk through it, without getting burned.
Making it to the other side, unscathed, without any scars.
But that’s impossible right.
I have learnt allot about love, about people, about us.
Beautiful souls that I meet along my way, they are the ones that save me.
The awarkdness is me.
I’m trying to squeeze all of me, into every tiny little moment.
Their’s this excitement, this life force, that runs right through me.
I know my place in the world.
I know this where I belong.
Their is a flicker of light, that never goes out.
Even when the rain pours…
It was if I was waiting, in the side lines. I was waiting till it was my turn to live.
I was too burdened, too overwhelmed, too shocked to realise my name had already been called out 36 years ago.
I was too stuck, the pain had covered me and was then set hard by the blazing sun.
Their was nowhere else to go, so I stayed in the shadows.
Be with me, as I rise.
As I rise above the ocean, as I find my shore.
Be with me, as I dance.
As I dance with my every being.
And when I fall, please still be with me.
Caress my face like you did that night you said goodbye.
I salute the stars of yesterday.
I say goodbye to the endings, sadnesses and joys.
I salute the sky that called itself yesterday.
I hold right now in the palm of my hand.
I am confident in myself enough, to know that I can do this.
The good, the bad, the in between, all of it.
My heart only filled with love,
the fire in my belly.
I know I am already free.
The way you broke me down with your kisses, and then you reached my soul. Something happened. Something inside of me changed and shifted.
You are my love muse, my real make belief.
Everyone comes into our life for a reason. To teach us, help us grow.
You showed me parts of myself I yearned to find. You helped me put my stars back in the sky. You made me believe again.
May you always be well,
may life treat you kind and may you find love like no other.
Till we meet again…Xo