I feel like I can no longer do this. That life has just become too out of reach.
I fight for what I have become.
I fight for what I don’t have.
I fight for a better place.
Life teases me too much.
It knows where it hurts the most and it doesn’t even care.
Life leaves me cold, and worthless.
It leaves me poor and broken.
It reminds me of the past.
Life makes me stronger though.
I don’t know why and I don’t even know how.
Somehow the sky fills itself back up with stars.
It gives me hope again, yes even allover the scattered glass, it’s there.
Then I know I am blessed.
You grew on me, like fire.
Even your shadow lights me up.
You have become like this precious diamond, that I jut need to uncover, layer by layer.
Your fingers trickling down my back.
I kind of knew then, that you’re still there.
I was still holding on.
I wanted that impossible dream, to be saved. To be somewhat cleansed and renewed. Kind of like, back to the start, back to the magic.
I yearn for this fire, that is so inside of me, it even surrounds me.
But I’m still learning how.
How to walk through it, without getting burned.
Making it to the other side, unscathed, without any scars.
But that’s impossible right.
I have learnt allot about love, about people, about us.
Beautiful souls that I meet along my way, they are the ones that save me.
The awarkdness is me.
I’m trying to squeeze all of me, into every tiny little moment.
Their’s this excitement, this life force, that runs right through me.
I know my place in the world.
I know this where I belong.
Their is a flicker of light, that never goes out.
Even when the rain pours…
It was if I was waiting, in the side lines. I was waiting till it was my turn to live.
I was too burdened, too overwhelmed, too shocked to realise my name had already been called out 36 years ago.
I was too stuck, the pain had covered me and was then set hard by the blazing sun.
Their was nowhere else to go, so I stayed in the shadows.
The way you broke me down with your kisses, and then you reached my soul. Something happened. Something inside of me changed and shifted.
You are my love muse, my real make belief.
Everyone comes into our life for a reason. To teach us, help us grow.
You showed me parts of myself I yearned to find. You helped me put my stars back in the sky. You made me believe again.
May you always be well,
may life treat you kind and may you find love like no other.
Till we meet again…Xo