There are moments that arise that I feel afraid, separated. I want to feel part of it all. I look around for comfort, and I see still moments, held by life and the last sun. Everything becomes hazy, like star dust.
I open my heart to all of it. The confusion, unknowingness and beauty. Life is never constant, forever changing. But love always stays the same. It’s always there, in the stars, the evening sky, in people that I don’t know walking by.
All of it, can be openings and doorways to amazing possibilities. Even the parts that hold us back, are lessons that will eventually set us free.
I’m standing on this bridge, in between two worlds. The same magic that is there in every moment, seen and unseen. I remind myself that what I’m feeling in that very moment, is not a reflection on what really is. I create dramas and worries that are only real because I make them so. That life paints a different picture. Life is always dancing and nothing can change that, even silence.
Every time I lay down my head, something pulls me further away. Like a magnet, charged by the shadows that are left behind. I cling on to them, ignoring the light that exists. And I become lost and disillusioned, by the tragedies from my past. But I know that I’m getting there, to the place that I have not known in a long time. In my heart I’m already there.
You didn’t just come out of nowhere, you came out of this beautiful deep blue sky. Like the brightest star preparing for new life, you shot right down. You found me inside this beautiful and sometimes crazy world. You landed yourself and all of your light, on stable ground.
You never left, you’ve always been here.
In the shape of a flame, flickering away, in a place that is close to my heart.
The sky has always held us both, together in its embrace.
It already knows who we are, it knows the song of my heart, the song that we dance to when we are laying down with our hearts beating close together.
But still I can’t reach you. I feel parts of you, but not all of you.
I want to know, if I should still hold your sweet gaze, for just a little while longer.
I lost my soul, in between the broken pieces of the past.
I got caught up in the drama of other people’s conflicts.
Then I found my fire again.
I learnt how to let it cradle me, hold me.
I learnt that I deserved so much more, that I was good enough, that I mattered.
I could and see the light trying to touch me, to show me that it was there, and that it never left.
I held onto it, as much as I could.
I had fought so much before, but life wanted me to fight even more. So I did, I fought as hard as I could.
Life needed me to realise that I already was the fire.
All you got to do is breathe.
Breathe in all the oxygen.
It’s not that hard.
Life is waiting for you, it needs you to stay open, to let its magic reach inside of you.
We are here for so much more than this.
Don’t let life down, don’t let yourself down.
You have come so far, but to just show up here is not enough.