I owe to myself, to keep transforming. To take life’s moments, to let them fill me up. To not regret anything and take all the opportunities, even the ones that scare me. This is how I face my shadow, how I make light of the darkness. I reach out my hands, and touch everything.
Life is about finding your freedom, facing the pain and walking through it. Sometimes it’s okay to walk through the fire. Because sometimes it’s the only way home.
I’m standing on this bridge, in between two worlds. The same magic that is there in every moment, seen and unseen. I remind myself that what I’m feeling in that very moment, is not a reflection on what really is. I create dramas and worries that are only real because I make them so. That life paints a different picture. Life is always dancing and nothing can change that, even silence.
Every time I lay down my head, something pulls me further away. Like a magnet, charged by the shadows that are left behind. I cling on to them, ignoring the light that exists. And I become lost and disillusioned, by the tragedies from my past. But I know that I’m getting there, to the place that I have not known in a long time. In my heart I’m already there.
I become lost in the shadows, even for just moments.
The sky doesn’t feel familiar, and all I want to do, is to escape to any place but here.
But the day rises again.
All that was lost becomes found, all over again.
The sky comes back to me.
It wakes me up inside , sweetly whispering, to me with its wild breathe.
Remanants of those moments, still cling on to me sometimes.
Holding on, in my dreams.
It makes me think of the emptiness, all over again.
The way love just stripped itself bare, right infront of me.
Leaving me with just my shadow.
I was forced to reach inside, inside the emptiness.
It was all taken away from me, my life suspended in time.
Now I have learnt how to fight my battles. I have learnt how to use my sword. I learnt that all I had to do was raise my sword high in the sky, and call out surrender.
I’m trying to not let the world break me. Instead it strengthens me.
It hides inside moments and teaches me.
It makes me feel so deeply.
It makes me feel everything, as I close my eyes and wish that it would all go away.
But who am I to want to give up so easily. The pain doesn’t last, it just trickles down each of my arms, never reaching my fingers.
You grew on me, like fire.
Even your shadow lights me up.
You have become like this precious diamond, that I jut need to uncover, layer by layer.
Your fingers trickling down my back.
I kind of knew then, that you’re still there.
It was if I was waiting, in the side lines. I was waiting till it was my turn to live.
I was too burdened, too overwhelmed, too shocked to realise my name had already been called out 36 years ago.
I was too stuck, the pain had covered me and was then set hard by the blazing sun.
Their was nowhere else to go, so I stayed in the shadows.
The sky has lost it’s shadow.
The tide has soaked up all the sand
dancing to the moons rays.
The waves pulling me closer to you,
finding your way to my heart.
Please don’t say goodbye yet.
We haven’t had enough time.
Their is still so so much I want to show you.
Their is still so much of me to touch, to feel, to embrace.
Please just hold my hand,
it’s way too soon to let go.
I haven’t had the chance to hold you yet.
To touch you, feel you, embrace you, all of you.
Your arms haven’t held me yet.
I still want to kiss you.
Touch your face and look into your eyes.
Please keep looking,
till you find me.